By Brianna Wiest

1. You cannot control how other people think of you. You can control how you treat them, but you cannot try to manage your behavior in such a way that would influence the way they think or speak of you when you aren’t around.

2. Love is not a finite thing; everybody can be loved in a different way. When we mindlessly operate on “survival of the fittest” instincts, we start to act as though only some people can be successful, or loved, or attractive, when really, everyone can be those things. Love is not finite. You don’t have to compete for it.

3. Discomfort is a signal, not a punishment. Usually when we feel uncomfortable we push ourselves harder (ever tack more work onto your load when you most feel overwhelmed?) Feeling discomfort should sound off a little gong in your head that makes you look around and say “what’s not right here?” rather than “I just need to push harder.”

4. There are not “good” and “bad” experiences, there are only the experiences you accept and the experiences you don’t. There are only the experiences you see the benefit of, and the ones you don’t. The quality of your life depends on how open you are to it.

5. Romantic love is not a competitive sport. People don’t choose who they love based on a comparison chart of body weight measurements and positive qualities. The work of real love is not how well you convince someone you’re lovable, but how deeply you let yourself be loved for who you actually are.

6. You’re either a victim of circumstance, or someone who sees trials as opportunities. It doesn’t really matter what you’ve been through or what’s up against you or how many odds are stacked against you. That is everyone’s story. Everyone has reasons why they shouldn’t succeed, it’s whether or not you’re going to figure it out anyway. 

7. You can’t cheat the timeline. There’s a greater order to things than our simple, finite minds can comprehend. Often, trying to rush things or skip steps signals that there’s something we’re running from, not somewhere we’re just passionate about getting to.

8. You’re probably not actually the best at anything, and you don’t have to be. In our society in particular, there is this pressure to emerge as The Chosen One, as though if you’re only as good as you are better than everyone else. This is the kind of bullshit that will keep you from ever accepting that good enough is, well, good enough. Thinking you’re the best (or the most) of anything is more delusion than it is confidence.

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