By Brianna Wiest
1. There’s no “safe zone” in love.
Commitment isn’t a guarantee that you have someone forever. If you’re too desperately seeking the “milestone,” the symbol of a commitment, you’re missing the point. Take each day with the mindset that this is all there is, and this is all there will ever be.
2. Love is not confusing, fear is.
People who are cynical about love have confused it for all the other crap that gets in the way of love. Love isn’t hard, it’s not confusing, it’s not scary – don’t forget that.
3. If you feel like you’re not getting enough, you’re probably not giving enough.
Your instinct may be to assume that people who are “givers” lack a backbone, or stay in relationships where they aren’t appreciated. But it’s takers who do that. People who don’t need to “get” something from someone don’t stick around longer than they need to. So with that in mind, if you’re struggling with feeling like you’re not getting enough from your relationship, the answer is likely in how much you’re giving to it.
4. Love is a grand magnifier.
Love amplifies whatever it is that’s in your life and heart – the things you like about yourself become clear, the things you dislike and want to change do, too.
5. If you have to wonder (to any extreme degree) about whether or not someone wants to be with you, they don’t.
Love is gorgeous and brutal in the fact that people who are uncommitted largely do what they want to do. If someone isn’t with you, they don’t want to be (for whatever reason). It’s not more complicated than that.
6. Always value actions over words in at least a 70/30 ratio.
People say things they don’t mean all the time (to warrant a reaction, defend themselves, make themselves seem better than they are, etc.) but they rarely ever act on something they don’t feel.
7. If you don’t want to kiss them and/or don’t care about them as a human being outside of your relationship, you probably shouldn’t be dating them.
If you don’t want to kiss someone, you aren’t fundamentally attracted to them, if you don’t care about them as a person, you care about what you think they’ll do for you.
8. Losing one person does not mean you’ve lost love forever.
… Which is largely why people panic so much when it comes to breakups. It’s what we think we’re losing, when really, all that leaves us is one idea about how our future would possibly be. That’s all.
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