By Christina Sartuche

Why is it that we always hurt the people we love the most?

I get that it’s easier to take all the hurt and pain you have bottled up inside you and throw that onto someone, anyone really. But why would we want to make someone else we love so dearly feel a fraction of the hurt we’re currently feeling? This creates a spiral of negativity where that person passes it on to someone, who continues to pass it on, until someone finally stops and says “no,” I won’t accept this negativity in my life. It takes someone emotionally strong to do so, and those people are far and few between.

What breaks my heart the most is the people who constantly get the brunt end of the stick. The ones who give and give and love with everything they have, only to get slapped with anger, fear, sadness, and pain. Eventually this takes its toll and sucks the person of all the happiness they had within themselves. Does it feel good to know you’re diminishing someone’s light?

Developing the ability to express yourself and understand your emotions is the single healthiest thing I believe a human can do for themselves. It isn’t easy – it requires a lot of internal digging to figure out who you are and become in tune with your feelings.

But let me tell you, it’s worth it.

I used to project my all my pent up negativity and jealousy on those closest to me, until I realized something. If I continued to act like this, I’d end up alone, with no one but myself. No one wants to be around someone who consistently drains them. We’re automatically drawn to the light and the people who project that. Recognize your bad feelings, process them, find an outlet for them, and let it go.

Dig deep and you’ll uncover all the things about yourself that you love, and the things you need to work on. Everyone has both, no one is inherently good or bad. Your flaws don’t make you a bad person, but blaming others for your flaws does. Once you’re able to recognize how you feel, acknowledge that feeling. Say how you feel aloud. Great, you know you feel something, now it’s time to pick up the pieces and move on. Sing a song, run outside, scream your lungs out, journal-do whatever makes you feel most like you. Positive distractions are an awesome way to shift your mindset.

It’s holding things in that will hurt you most.

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