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By Matt Hearnden
“Just let yourself be happy.”
How many times have you heard that?
How many times have you thought “if it was that fucking easy then I’d already be happy.”
It’s even one of the top 5 regrets of people who are closer to dying. “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
They didn’t wish that they knew HOW to be happier. Only that they would’ve LET themselves be happier. They finally understood that happiness was a choice.
But if it’s just a choice… then why isn’t everybody happy?
And this is where it gets fascinating.
I’d always wanted to be “successful,” and I was happy when I first actually started working my way towards being successful… but then I wasn’t.
I’d read about these successful people and I wouldn’t feel inspired at all. I’d feel jealous. And I’d feel hopeless. How the fuck was I supposed to get to where they were? How was I supposed to work my way up from nothing to everything?
I was confused. I was finally actually taking action to be successful, but I wasn’t happy. I was supposed to be happy. Wasn’t I? Isn’t this what I wanted?
If this is what it took to be successful, did I even want to be successful?
Blunt questions give clear answers.
I realised I did want to be successful. I really did. I absolutely wanted it.
But I didn’t think I deserved to be happy until I was.
Because if I was happy now then why would I even want to be successful? Happiness is more important than success, isn’t it?
I thought being happy NOW would stop me from wanting to be successful and that scared me.
Because I wanted to be successful. Because I wanted to live out these daydreams I kept having.
Because I wanted to be who I knew I could be.
And if I was happy now… then none of that would matter.
I thought me being happy now would stop me from being successful later.
I thought I had to struggle, and be in pain, and be driven by unhappiness, in order to be successful.
And then, when I was successful, then I could let myself be happy.
Because I’d finally deserve to be happy.
That’s how you let yourself be happy.
You believe you deserve to be happy.
I didn’t think I believed to be happy until I was successful, whatever that means, and that’s why I wasn’t.
I do things differently now.
I let go of linking my happiness to my success, and I let it go because doing the holding on was just causing me too much pain, and it definitely wasn’t making me successful.
Linking my happiness to my success only made me unhappy and unsuccessful.
Linking my happiness to me, to who I am… that’s how to be happy.
Because it means you’re 100% in control of your happiness, and that means you can be happy right now.
When will you let yourself be happy?
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Read this next:
- Everything Is Ecstasy Inside: Jack Kerouac On How Our Minds Keep Us From The Bliss Of Reality
- In Praise Of Darkness: Why We Must Use What Suffering Teaches Us To Construct Lives That Are Genuinely Ours
- When Is Wallowing A Good Thing?