By Tshegofatso Ndabane

“If you listened to the part of you which is pure spirit, all your decisions would be easy, and all the outcomes joyous. That is because the choices of spirit are always the highest choices. They do not need to be second-guessed. They do not need to be analyzed or evaluated. They simply need to be followed, acted.” – Neal Donald Walsh

I have hardly made it known that there came a time for me to walk away from most of the doctrine I had grown up being instructed in. Such that when I stumbled across this particular piece of insight, I was reminded of just how far I have come. How far along my personal path I have walked. And each day, I am grateful for that break-down; coming home from varsity with a Psychology degree, chronic depression, an eating disorder and absolutely no sense of Self.

The universe has remained beautiful that way, in that she will construct a series of events to surround you and stop you and steer you – I am grateful for having being granted the courage to trade it all in pursuit of my own truth.

That’s the thing about truth, it is ever changing and evolving, which signifies discovery and growth. It tugs at me each time I observe how firmly we grip on to those things we believe to be the source of our security; how tightly we hold on to the sameness of identity, of relationships, of environment; how easily we perceive a change as threat, when ironically, those times we have undergone the most drastic of changes are also the times we have experienced the most growth.

Perhaps I digress but, I love babies, maybe not to the point of having my own but nonetheless, if you’ve ever watched a baby, you’ll find that in those first few years of life, their entire world is driven by curiosity, fascination, a seeking of sorts. Once able to speak and to otherwise express themselves; beyond communicating their needs (and wants), all they seem to do is to question. Any- and everything. But the tragedy of this however, is that somewhere along the line, that curious seeking and fascination becomes stifled, silenced, deadened. Somewhere along the line someone tells you not to ask so many questions, worse, they tell you, ‘that is a stupid question.’

And so it begins. You navigate your childhood wondering but afraid to ask, those older and ‘wiser’ teach you lessons you are not given allowance to question, you muster up the courage to raise your hand in class that one time and those around you cackle and comment at the stupidity of your question. It is in this that that innocent, impressionable child is taught to accept the norm, to deny what is embedded in their very nature to do, and in so doing, to accept the truth as given by their world.

I have found that even as an adult *insert sarcastic chuckle here,* any effort to break away from this modeled pattern is condemned as rebellion. Effort to embrace that which is in your nature to do gets labelled as a challenge to authority, a lack of discipline, a steering from the ‘right’ path. Besides, who gets to decide what the right path is? Or even that there is a right path to begin with? Maybe the problem is not even that, maybe the problem comes in when one finds their truth, their ‘right’ path so to speak, and then attempts to force that onto another.

Few things are as beautiful as meeting, let alone being someone who is living from within. Whose aura resembles the flutter of a butterfly from one blossom to another. Who walks with an air of certainty not from having it all figured out but from a willingness to move with the certainty of changes to come. Whose glow mirrors their souls. Whose zest for life lies in the anticipated discoveries to be made and truths to be cultivated.

You know what the world calls these people? Dreamers, ones with their heads in the clouds.

… Rather a head in the clouds than a soul imprisoned. Rather a dreamer than a spirit shackled.

Because those who claim to have it all together usually have none. Those who claim to know it all are usually drowning in ignorance. And those who claim to have found the secret to a happy, healthy and fulfilling life are usually selling something.

This is where we now find ourselves, where I found myself, having to learn what was initially embedded in my very being. Because the world- your world- all its lessons and instructions and norms will not freely hand you this freedom. And you might have to shave your hair, you might have to resolve to run (literally), you might even have to start writing, maybe even again. But you will have to do whatever it takes to find that place inside of you that is pure spirit. You will have to be fearless. Fearless enough to drop what you think you know, enough to step away from what others have told you, so fearless that you can enter into your own experience. And then, you must not feel guilty, nor should you apologize. When your own experiences stand in contrast to those things you thought you knew, embrace them.

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