By Aleksis Melo
At times I don’t understand why I choose the wrong pieces, when the right ones are in front of my eyes. Why I chose the ones that seemed like the most reasonable options though I knew better, the easy way out, the fear-informed decision, the wrong one, the mistake.
It’s in this twisted misdirection that you start to believe you’re out to get you. Maybe that’s why we fear horror, and maybe that’s why we’re all tied up in our feelings. Maybe what we’re afraid of is ourselves.
Maybe we’re afraid of those moments when we shift into our own demons. When we’re not thinking from the deepest roots of our souls. The puzzles of life aren’t that complicated really, and life can be so incredible and simple yet just one wrong step, just one misplaced move. Just one little lie that grows so immense, the only solution you have at that moment is to continue adding up to the mess.
That’s what we’re afraid of.
Becoming our demons, and believing that we are defined by our mistakes. After all: those are the moments that scream the loudest at us.
So we end up hiding the scars, smoothing out the edges of the pieces we tried to shove in place. We ignore the importance these missteps had in our lives, because even though our souls needed the process, our minds could only scream: the picture must look ‘right,’ and if it doesn’t, things will be very, very bad.
And maybe that is the true error of it all. Mistakes are inevitable, even the most sincere, honest, loving individual will mess up at least once in this journey that is called life. You will hurt people, even those that you would never in your life would think of ever hurting. However, maybe it’s time to stop hiding all those scars of lies but rather collect them in the roots of your soul.
You are not only your thoughts, or the actions you have done. It may be the most cliché line of all, but you are, after all, on a journey. And the people who are worth holding dear will accept the moments when the path gets dark. After all, those scars have shaped you. They exist as proof of what you’ve been through.
So maybe life isn’t about avoiding those scars.
Maybe it’s about collecting them, and wearing them with pride.