Tag: 20-Somethings Page 2 of 3
We are friend zoned. We are bro zoned. We are family zoned. We are help zoned. We’re rejected. We’re stood up. We’re ghosted. We’re used. And vice versa. We don’t love anymore.
Growing up, we socialize only with people our age. We have friends in school, our parents set us up with playdates with kids of a similar age. All we know is how to be friends with people who are our peers, but that changes eventually, and especially after college.
We let confirmation bias replace objective reality: a great case-in-point for this is when people say “Well, I’ve never experienced that,” in response to a national statistic, or objective trend someone else observes.
We use our past as a map to the future. I believe that certain roads will congest at certain times of day because they were full of traffic in the past. I believe that a friend loves me because their actions align with those of others who said they loved me before.
Free Spirits are masters at bringing their passion to everyday life, finding meaning in everyday tasks – and there is nothing more desperately needed in the working world.
Imagine the last time you had a strong emotional response to something. Was it the product of having sat with the experience for a moment, processing and internalizing it, and then scanning your body to determine how you felt?
We ignore the importance these missteps had in our lives, because even though our souls needed the process, our minds could only scream: the picture must look ‘right,’ and if it doesn’t, things will be very, very bad.
The voice you have to listen to will rarely make sense. It won’t use words. It won’t use logic. It won’t fit within the neat trajectory of the storyline that you imagined.It will be subtle, and it will speak to you without you ever knowing that it is.
Someone once told me that a city’s secrets are darker and deeper than any forest, that there were endless wonders to witness among the alleyways and old cobblestone streets.
When we go into a relationship without any expectations that they’re responsible for making us feel or look or seem a certain way, we can actually experience what they bring with their presence in our lives. That’s what it means to really have love.
Everybody is seeking enlightenment. They just may have other names for it. Everybody skims articles on self-improvement, studies successful people, buys self-help books. Whether it be via Oprah, Soul Cycle, NYU, or Jesus, the emphasis is on making oneself better.
Because we all want to make the “right” decision. We’re trained to think there is a “right” decision to make, though we don’t really know. For all we know, we’re making the “right” choice that serves someone else, or keeps us farther from our intended goal so consumerism thrives and fear prevails.
We’re high on the idea of being a “leader,” as though rising to some god-like state of creative entrepreneurship will make us happy – being minimal, focused, hyper-productive, “big vision” people – as opposed to diving into the nitty gritty of what we’re actually called to.
It’s in learning to tend to our own souls when we’re lonely that we learn to tend to others’, and it is learning to tend to others’ that we learn what it means to love.
Doing what you’re afraid to do will get you exactly where you want to be. It’s a process of unlearning that brings you closest to who you are, but you must learn how to unlearn.