Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette, we take that last drag as slowly as we can. We do not believe we can catch ourselves, though we always do.
To imply that someone’s mental issues could be resolved if only they did more yoga, or breathed more deeply, or ate better is insulting. Of course they’ve tried that – it didn’t work.
Love is something you find. Compatibility is something you develop.
What do I definitely not want?
Your relationship to others is a mirror to yourself. The concept of desiring the “big, fairytale love” is a projection of how much love you want from yourself.
They’re able to disassociate fear from love.
Realize that your love is not expendable. If it is real, it is infinite – you can give it forever without getting anything in return, and you will always have enough.
You’re more comfortable being lonely. You have a hard time keeping friends. You are obsessive about your strengths.
Think about a subject of interest: what do you hope to achieve? How do you want them to feel?
The purpose of a relationship is not to fix us, or heal us, or to make us whole and happy, it is to show us where we need fixing, and what parts of us are still broken, and perhaps the most brutal of all: that nobody can do this work, or make us happy, but ourselves.
When we go into a relationship without any expectations that they’re responsible for making us feel or look or seem a certain way, we can actually experience what they bring with their presence in our lives. That’s what it means to really have love.