By Colleen George
“What happens when people open their hearts? They get better.”
– Haruki Murakami
Love is infinite. It does not have an expiration date. It does not have walls…limits… or even an end point. You can never love too much, and you can never run out of love, or ways to love. There are always people, feelings, places, experiences that need your love. So do not be afraid to share it. Open your heart up. Love is never something to fear or run from – you shouldn’t try to hide from it. Maybe you are someone who has been criticized for being overly sensitive… overly vulnerable… maybe even “weak.”
This is wrong. All this means is that you are compassionate, caring, and free. If you live a life of love, you will a life that is real. And by love, I don’t just mean romantic love. I mean love in any form; love for anything (or everything) that you are passionate about. It is only when you allow yourself to love that you will fully be able to feel the world around you. So if you are this sensitive soul… the one who always loves more than others, gives more than others, or simply cares “too much,” please take this message to heart: you are incredible, and you have so much to give. You are compassionate. You are valuable. Love is overflowing from your soul. You are the type of person the world needs more of. So please continue to love everything with all that you have, and never be afraid to show your true colors to the universe.
Sensitive people often are accused of being weak. But feeling pain, and exposing your naked soul to the world, this is not weak in any way, shape or form. Sensitivity is the essence of strength. When you feel everything so intensely, so deeply down to your core, your sensitive heart is the most courageous heart in the world. Although you may experience more heartbreak, and more sadness, this is only because you are that much more connected to your emotions. But you are not weak. It is the willingness and courage to embrace the world around you, while being aware that you may be profoundly touched or deeply hurt, that makes you so incredibly strong.
By being sensitive, all of the emotions that you experience –whether they are positive or whether they are heartbreaking – are the very foundations of growth. And this is not just ordinary growth – this is remarkable, life changing growth that lasts forever. When something painful happens and your heart is literally cracked open, ripped apart at the seams, somehow you fight to keep going. You learn to be courageous, and you continue to love; even when it hurts. You become more in touch with yourself, and you learn what you have to offer to the world. You also become more aware of your own needs – what you need from yourself, and what you need from others. Even if you spend hours crying and mourning the loss of something, or hours feeling just a little “too much,” you are in fact growing – and you are becoming more beautiful. Sensitivity teaches you who you are. It shows you courage are when times are tough, and passion when times are beautiful.
Heartbreak is awful. No matter what kind of heartbreak it is. Whether it is a death, a breakup, a loss of a friendship, or a loss of a part of yourself, heartbreak is probably one of the most gut wrenching, painful feelings you will ever experience. And not even just emotionally – it will hurt your heart, your mind, and it with even hurt your body. And it won’t just come and go quickly. It is during these tough times of life when being the one who loves so much becomes a bit more challenging… a bit more daunting. This is when it’s harder to radiate this love and to remember how much you believe in love. But after your heart cracks open, there are so many ways to heal, and so many ways to grow – and the sensitive, courageous people will use this to their advantage. They will become better for it.
If you don’t allow heartbreak to open you up, to expose you, the only other option is to refuse it. To build sturdy walls. To numb yourself to the pain. But when you close off your heart to pain, hurt or heartbreak, the wall you build will also close you off from all the joy and miracles out there. The wall will keep out compassion and beauty, it will keep out feelings. It will keep out love. If you can’t expose your naked soul to someone else, how can you ever fall in love? How can someone fall in love with you? If you can’t let someone into your heart, they won’t be able to stay. Because they care too much, and you may only be capable of half loving them. Besides this, how will you ever purely love yourself? Is blocking out the tough stuff just to “protect” yourself really worth blocking out love? This wall is only going to hurt you in the long run. Being hurt in this world is inevitable. And even if you become “tough,” if you shield yourself with cinderblock walls and feel nothing, you won’t find happiness because you won’t FEEL. You won’t really be tough, you will just be numb. If you block out all of the love, how will you grow? How will you muster up any strength or courage to live this life to its full capacity?
Pain and heartbreak prove to you that loving, that being vulnerable, was all worth it. The pain is proof that what you had, or what you lost, was valuable and meant something to you. That something wonderful happened, and that more wonderful love is still to come. Whatever it is that broke your heart opened you up to something new – it brought out a part of you that you may not have known. The memories of anything you lose will always be a part of you. Memories do not die or lose meaning with time. The wonderful memories can be cherished, and the more tolling memories can be lessons for you to reflect, but not dwell, on. So do not fret too much – one day you will start to feel better, if and only if you don’t shut down your feelings when you are hurting. Let this heartbreak and vulnerability transform you, rather than break you. You have so much more to give, so don’t harden yourself to those out there who love you – including yourself. The wisdom that heartbreak brings lasts forever, and strengthens your heart beyond measure.
When you are sensitive, you feel everything with such strength and such power. And this is why it is often said that sensitivity is both a blessing and a curse. That vulnerability is both wonderful yet harmful. But think of your vulnerability as a blessing… as a gift. Sensitivity is a treasure. You are so very blessed to have a sensitive and caring soul. Sensitive souls should be cherished, for sensitive souls are the most capable of loving deeply and purely. They are the fighters. To be truly human – to experience the full spectrum of feelings, you must be vulnerable. Vulnerability is romance. Uncalculated, uninhibited romance. Vulnerability is what connects people. The depth of your heart is infinite, but the days in which you have to share everything you have… are not.
Image: Charity Victoria