By Mariah Jensen

The tricky thing about love is that there are many highs you can experience that can easily be confused for it. Often, if you’re not experienced enough, you’re left unable to differentiate them. Here, the 6 things people confuse for wanting love, because knowing what you’re seeking is the first step to making sure you get what you actually want. 

1. Self-affirmation.

If your middle school wounds still aren’t stitched, you’re probably still seeking someone to make you feel worthwhile. If you find that you get frustrated with your partners when they aren’t perfect, this is probably the case.

2. Someone to change your life.

If you are waiting around for love to make your life worth living, you’re wasting your time. Nobody else can awaken you to that knowing. Love can only enhance it when you already have it.

3. An accessory to your image.  

If you spent most of your life feeling deeply unworthy of other people’s affections, having an attractive and doting significant other kind of makes the statement of “ha! See! You were wrong!”

4. The high of romance and sexual attraction… not the nitty gritty, daily commitment to love. 

Love isn’t glamorous. In fact, it’s the commitment to stand by someone in the most unglamorous moments that defines the real thing.

5. To feel a sense of purpose. 

It’s easy to do what everyone else is and call it a life. You were taught that the point is to find the right person and settle down, and if you feel like there’s nothing else out there for you to do, you’ll chase that instead.

6. To use someone for how they make you think. 

The world is beautiful and you are beautiful and a worthwhile person. The main reason we want love, usually, is just to shift our mindset about anything and everything. It’s the best and fastest way we can get past feeling hopeless or sad… hope for someone else to make it better.

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