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By Claudia Lee
It’s said that we experience insomnia when our minds need to tell us something we haven’t let ourselves hear in our waking lives. However, this often just relays into overthinking. Creating complexity because we aren’t ready to accept the simple truth.
We lie awake staring into the darkness and begin questioning everything —analyzing decisions in retrospect, coming up with improbable (but not impossible) scenarios, idealizing the person we’re hung up on, looking deeper into ourselves to maybe get a glimpse of what we truly want with our lives. We test our whole being and existence, but we are often left with nothing but more questions and possibilities. So if overthinking essentially manifests into realizing how much we don’t know, why do we keep doing it?
Nothing is certain in this world other than death. Every day we are living and dying at the same time — making it the biggest oxymoron known to man. Human beings thrive on security because we are afraid of the unknown. We want certainty and that’s why we overthink. Overthinking is us making sense of the grey areas; we are trying to categorize things in order to make ideas more tangible. We try to box up ideas into black and white because it makes it easier to understand. However, it’s not simple to just throw things into categories. Overthinking, the process of sorting the grey into black and white, means we go over the possibility of both sides. We evaluate the good and the bad, and all the other infinite possibilities. It doesn’t get us anywhere except incredibly frustrated. Certainty is beyond the realm of the human mind. We cannot know everything, and when we find answers to the posed questions it only follows with more questions. It’s futile and absurd.
Will we ever know why someone ghosted us and if they’ll reappear in our lives again? Will we ever know if our past decisions will come to haunt us in the present? Will we ever know if there’s someone out there meant for us? Will we ever receive forgiveness from those we hurt? Will we ever know what we want to do with our lives? Will we ever know, period?
The answer is yes.
As contradicting as this sounds, we will know the answers to these meandering questions. We will know the answers with time. In time, things happen. It’s so simple that it doesn’t seem like a logical answer. With time, people react to how they feel and react. If time goes by and there’s no word, then there’s our answer. It’s okay to not have all the answers right now; but it is comforting to know that we’ll have our answers eventually. With time. We don’t have to have it all figured out right in this exact moment. This is why patience is a virtue. Overthinking doesn’t give answers, it only fuels hope or discouragement. It influences the way we see things because of our absurd assumptions. We don’t know what’s going on in other people’s heads nor can we control what is, but what we can control is our own thinking. We have to take it as is comes. Going through different scenarios or possibilities of what other people are thinking won’t get us closer to knowing what truly is going through their heads. The only real thing that exists is the now, and what we are looking for is what will exist eventually in the now. The only way to do that is to bide our time. To wait it out until the answers we seek find us.