We have many ideas about how people should love us, or what kind of love is “good enough” for us to receive. It’s interesting that we have “types” and “standards” and “deal-breakers,” when most often, the relationships we’re happiest in are with people who we never would have chosen.

There’s a reason for this.

We construct our idea of what’s “good enough” based on what we think will make us feel better, or happy. But it’s not anybody else’s job to make us happy. It’s their job to celebrate our happiness with us, and then expand it by sharing their own.

When we go into a relationship without any expectations that they’re responsible for making us feel or look or seem a certain way, we can actually experience what they bring with their presence in our lives. That’s what it means to really have love.

When you have an idea of how someone else should show up in their love for you, you’re trying to make them someone they’re not, and at the same time, you’re not seeing them for what they are. You’re trying to make their path for them, Jake Ducey says, in one of his latest videos.

Check out the rest here, on why you must stop trying to micro-manage how people show up in their love for you, and instead, just show up in your own.

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